5 Things To Know When You’re Newly Diagnosed With Borderline Personality Disorder
Okay so you got diagnosed with BPD - what do you do next?
Getting diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder can be a daunting process. It’s scary, long, and can require a long of self-advocacy for some. For others, like myself, we might go into psychiatry expecting depression medication and come out with a new diagnosis. AKA Borderline Personality Disorder. It can be quick and unexpected for some of us.
Regardless of HOW you get diagnosed with BPD, there is going to be a lot to unpack after the fact.
Here’s what I suggest:
#1 - DO NOT GO ON REDDIT
Reddit can be helpful for finding us the instruction manual to that old smart television no longer sold when you need to figure out how to download Hulu. It is NOT a good place to go when you’re looking for information about your new diagnosis. There can be an unfortunate group of people on Reddit who are not person-centered about the experience of having BPD or having a partner with BPD.
This can be true of most places on the internet learning about mental health disorders - there isn’t necessarily helpful or scientific information on many websites. What we recommend is following our podcast and learning from us from a non-stigmatized perspective:
Bold Beautiful Borderline podcast
#2 - SEEK A THERAPIST WHO KNOWS DIALECTICAL BEHAVIORAL THERAPY
Therapy will be a very helpful place for you to process this new information you learned about yourself. BPD symptoms respond very well to Dialectical Behavioral Therapy because it isn’t about changing your thought patterns, which is VERYYYY hard, but rather changing your behavior (MUCH EASIER).
You can filter on the Psychology Today Find A Therapist tool online by the insurance you may have and type of therapist. Definetely filter by DBT. You’re more likely to have a therapist who has person-centeredness if they are familiar with DBT because they’re likely to have worked with people like us before!
#3 - FIND A PEER SUPPORT GROUP
Peer support is defined as “the practice of individuals with lived experience of mental health challenges providing support, empathy, and understanding to others who are facing similar difficulties. This form of support is based on the principle of mutual aid, where individuals offer support to one another based on shared experiences, rather than from a position of authority or expertise.”
Finding your people will help you feel less alone. Here’s a few groups to consider:
#4 - REMIND YOURSELF “NOTHING HAS CHANGED - I AM STILL MYSELF”
Here’s the deal: NOTHING HAS CHANGED. You simply have a label for what you’ve been feeling. You are still the same you that you’ve always been. Having a label gives you a direction for recovery and getting what you need to feel better. You are not broken. You are not worthless. You are still loved - even when it does not feel like it.
#5 - DEVELOP A CRISIS PLAN
One of the most common experiences for those of us with BPD is the difficulty with emotion regulation and often experiencing crisis (self-harm, suicidal thoughts, etc.). So to keep ourselves safe having a crisis plan is essential. With your therapist, partner, or even on your own, build a crisis plan and keep a copy in your wallet, phone, and with someone you can trust to help you use it.
Here’s what I recommend:
IDENTIFY WHAT YOUR TRIGGERS ARE (THOUGHTS, FEELINGS, EXTERNAL TRIGGERS)
IDENTIFY YOUR INDIVIDUAL COPING TOOLS TO USE WHEN TRIGGERED
IDENTIFY WHO CAN HELP YOU COPE AND HOW THEY CAN HELP YOU COPE IF YOUR INDIVIDUAL COPING IS NOT ENOUGH - IDENTIFY A STATEMENT YOU CAN USE WITH THEM AND TELL THEM WHEN YOU ARE CALM HOW THEY CAN HELP SUPPORT YOU DURING THIS TIME
IDENTIFY WHO YOU CAN CALL TO HELP KEEP YOU SAFE - WHERE CAN YOU GO WHEN NEEDING TO STAY SAFE - ARE THERE ANY ITEMS IN YOUR HOME YOU CAN ASK THIS PERSON TO REMOVE FOR A TIME UNTIL YOU ARE SAFE
IF STILL IN CRISIS, USE THE CRISIS LINES:
988 - PHONE CRISIS LINE IN US
TEXT LINE IN US - TEXT HOME TO 741741
IF STILL IN CRISIS, GO TO YOUR LOCAL EMERGENCY ROOM - LIST THE HOSPITAL AND ADDRESS
CALL 911 IF YOU CANNOT SAFELY GET TO THE LOCAL EMERGENCY ROOM
PROVIDE A COPY OF THIS TO THE PERSON IN YOUR LIFE WHO CAN SUPPORT YOU WHEN NEEDED TO USE YOUR CRISIS PLAN
You can use THIS TEMPLATE for building your plan.
Okay ya’ll, good luck in your new diagnosis. IT IS GOING TO BE OKAY.
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